Seven year love

My son turned seven today. Turning seven seems like such a big difference than all the prior birthdays. He’s not my little baby anymore…seven is officially a kid. *sniff*

We spent today at the Warther museum that showcases the amazing talent of carver Ernest ‘Mooney’ Warther and his specialty, carved trains. Watching this kid really listen to the presentation and even ask questions was bittersweet. I love that he is at an age to be interested in mature things but it hurts my maternal heart realizing he is transitioning into his own person.

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Seven years. Seven years since my own transition.

There are many defining moments of our lives and the most defining moment of mine was the birth of my son.

It is so crazy to think about how terrified I was on this day seven years ago. I was a bit lost when I found out I was pregnant. I was struggling with school, I was tending bar and I was living a reckless and selfish lifestyle.

Granted, I was 27 and had over six years of college experience, but I was pretty immature.  I was also very NOT maternal in nature. I didn’t want to hold babies, I didn’t gush over kids, and I definitely didn’t want one of my own.

There is a distinct transition here. People who knew me pre-mamahood, could never imagine me being this domestic, maternal person. People who know me now, have trouble imaging me not loving this role and being so into my children.

It’s all my husband’s fault.

When he walked into my bar, I literally tripped over myself like, five times. Now, I am a romantic person.  I have loved a lot in my life. I have lost a lot in my life. But until I met the one, I never felt this intensely.  However, we only knew each other for a couple months before we conceived (the very first night we spent together, mind you). Yep, he got to know my family after the big announcement. Yes, that escalated quickly.

Not only can I tell you the most defining moment of my life, but I can tell you the most scary moment of  my life.

Being the youngest of four and having all of your big siblings procreate after they were married, made me the blackest of sheep. I will never forget standing on the steps of my parents garage, quivering in fear, shaking from nerves, looking my father in the eyes and telling him I am pregnant. With a man he just met. That I have only known for a couple of months. I was miserable with the idea of disappointing him.

I also will never forget the feeling of my dad’s arms around me and feeling his unconditional love.Watch Full Movie Online Streaming Online and Download

That was the most about-face moment ever. From feeling the most terror to feeling the most love.

Ok, in-labor epidural euphoria was pretty close, but you get what I mean.

It took me awhile to get mentally ready. I was pretty upset about it. I was depressed about the idea of becoming a mom but was occupied by the excitement of getting to know my husband. We got married while we were 7 months pregnant (and still plan to take a honey moon……someday). It was a crazy time and I had a lot of ‘why’s.

And I was still kind of selfishly living as I ate for myself for that 9 months more than for the baby. Hubs actually ratted me out to the Dr. because he was worried that supersize fries and vanilla milkshakes were not the most nutritious daily consumption.

* for the record, this kid is practically an epitome of health and development.

Yep, I weighed 205 pounds when I delivered. And he only weighed 9, so the rest took some work to lose……but it was fun gaining.

So here it is, 7 years, still married and another child later.  I LOVE being a mama. I even love doing laundry and washing dishes. And I love doing fun things with my children. I grew my best friends, my peers, my social circle these days. What a different view it is looking back, huh?

This is only one chapter of how my life is a perfect example of those mysterious ways God works.  How to try not to panic because so many ‘why’s turn into ‘thank yous’. It is yet another affirmation of how things don’t always go according to plan.

And thank goodness for that.

 

 

 

Comments

  1. makes me laugh reading this as there are definitely some similarities in our lives. ☺♫♫1♥

    • Children make life different for sure. They make life worth living, and I couldn’t imagine life without my kids! Happy birthday to the young man!

  2. I love reading your stories and your point of view! You are awesome!!!

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