Grow up

Happy New Year all!

Wow. Here we are. 2014.

If I had asked myself over the last 15 years where I would be in 2014 -more importantly, the year I would be turning 35; I would never had guessed I would be where I am. Not once.

Not a mother. Twice especially.

Not a for real artist.

Not a blogger. -who will begin posting more than once a month

Not an entrepreneur -what?watch Fast & Furious 9 film now

Not a business owner -double what??

Although it must be noted that I appear to be way more put together online than I actually am. We moved in with hub’s parents to save money while we find somewhere closer to his work to live. Great right? Live with the kids grandparents for a little while while saving up money and get ahead for once. Buuuut we have more expenses than we realized with storage unit and child care and paying off lots of debt and all that fun stuff. My productivity and space is limited so it is still kind of… messy.download Fifty Shades Darker 2017 movie

2013 was a year of realization and major change for me.

Many of you know my story of self discovery has been a lifelong journey (for a nutshell peek check out: battle scars,  seven year love, and I’m not weird) but this last year has been…enlightening.

I am realizing that I am in fact….a grownup.

Whenever I think of grownups I don’t think of myself, or my husband. I think of our parents. My friends parents. Teachers from my past. Not me.

But…I am turning 35. I never faced aging with any deep feelings. 30 was not a big deal. I was already a mom and married and all that more-mature-but-definitely-not-grown-up stuff.watch full Baahubali 2: The Conclusion 2017 movie online

But… 35 is different. 35 is grownup. Or it should be, right?

It’s half of my dad’s age. I KNOW he was a grownup at 35.

When I look at the world outside my little bubble (where I spend 90% of my time) I see so many successful people with careers and beautiful homes and organized lives and clean children with matching socks 100% of the time and the fact that they are not only my age but *gasp* so many are younger ….I realize that I am considered a grownup. *sniff*

I am just not the most put together of grownups. (and realistically, never will be)

And I am ok with that.

Actually, I am just really finding myself, trusting myself and LIKING myself this last year.

I am figuring out my life, I am trusting myself more and not worrying about what every other person in my life/world thinks and I am actually relaxing and feeling confident.

I don’t know, but I assume we all have dreams and aspirations and goals that we want and we know we could get, we just…don’t.

For many many reasons and most, again I assume, are from our own self-sabotaging. Another amazing perk to having a page is realizing how many people have the same idiosyncrasies as me. I love posting something funny-slightly embarrassing and hearing so many encouraging comments from my fellow eccentrics and realizing just how much so many of us have in common.

Well I have been sabotaging myself. For years. I have been wanting to get into physical shape and I have bouts of good regime but never stick with it and return to my horrible eating and sleeping and feeling blah- ness.

My last post I shared how I have been on a fitness kick and turning 35 was the motivation I needed. Because I have never stuck with it like I am. I am officially pass the working phase and into the addicted phase where I literally love it.

I am half-way through Insanity and am officially obsessed.

30

I feel better, I eat better, I sleep better, I love dressing more! Those who know me personally , are aware of my lack of fashion, I have always been one for comfort. I don’t wear jewelry, I don’t color my hair, do my nails, I live in flip flops in warm weather and combat boots in cold, I don’t have much of anything in the accessories department, I have never had a mani OR pedi- I just never got excited about fashion-y stuff.  I am most comfortable in paint covered PJ pants and fuzzy socks. But it is kind of fun to use a little color and layers and I am slowly getting into it.

paint

Now, I have always been one to sleep. I am one of those people who could sleep for days, and still could, if it weren’t for the people I made.

But now, I get better sleep and I don’t want to miss stuff. I am not always tired and physically able to curl up and sleep in ANY situation – especially if there is a pillow and warm blanket involved. Although that does sound really nice.

The whole point of all of this is to show that I finally really did it.

I made a major change in my life with determination and dedication. That just sounds so grownup, now don’t it?

Now I know that I really can do grownup things.

And I plan to. This is my year. My year to do the things I know I can but have been making excuses not to.

I am ready to continue pursuing this path and will continue my self-improvement and I will be sharing the journey with you all.

Bring it, ’14.

 

 

 

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